You're pregnant, yay! You and your partner couldn't be more excited. But suddenly as the conversations have shifted to child rearing and future plans, you realize that the two of you don't see things quite the same. While you're thinking about how the crib is going to fit in your bedroom, your partner says "NO WAY! The baby is sleeping in their own room." Two parents with two opinions about the best way to do things.
The clash of ideas and opinions about child rearing is extremely common among new parents. It starts during pregnancy, and can sometimes overshadow the joy and excitement you feel about having the baby as you wonder (and worry) how you and your partner are going to be able to agree on anything when it comes to the baby. Is this a sign of things to come?
It's normal to disagree
The reality is that few people have in-depth conversations about how they feel about things such as religion, or allowance, or the family bed, or desserts before dinner BEFORE they have kids. And, the way we were raised is never fully revealed until we start thinking about children of our own. These differences, also referred to as inherent differences, don't have much room in our lives before we are actually faced with child-rearing. So although you may be surprised at how much you and your partner disagree, you shouldn't be alarmed. Most couples have vastly different ideals about parenthood in the months prior to the baby being born.
Try not to panic
It is also important to realize that everything you think you know about raising a child, and everything you think you will do when you have your own kids - means nothing until you actually have the baby. No matter how much you swore you would never do this or that, the actual baby has a way of changing all that.
For instance, even though you and your partner may be butting heads about the best way to wean a baby NOW while you're pregnant, the reality is that you don't really know which bridge you will cross until you get there. So settle down just a little: You and your partner are not doomed, or headed for trouble because you seem to be disagreeing on a few things.
How to handle disagreements
Two parents, with two opinions is natural. And, having differing opinions about things enables us to see there is more than one way to do things. When the conversations arise where the two of you disagree, the best thing to do is simply allow yourselves to get there when you get there. After all, you needn't be arguing about the perfect age for your daughter to date, when your daughter hasn't even been born yet.
Time has a way of changing things and you will realize that most things work themselves out in time. Cherish your pregnancy, and if you really want to have fun - write down all the things you swore you would and wouldn't do, so when your child is a teenager you can look back and realize just how wrong you were. About everything. :)
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